Timothy's Secret
by RozyHTaylor
Summary: Stole this story idea from tumblr but the writing is my own. Timothy Turners got a secret and doesn't know where to turn. Don't know how many chapters it will be or where is heading but try and stick with it. Reviews welcome :)
1. Chapter 1

Tim's minds wandered as he was getting ready for the meal at Nonnatus House. Does the truth imprison us, or does it set us free? One thing he knew for sure was that the truth would hurt so many more than simply lying, or even not saying anything at all. The truth would be so unbearable, one day he hoped the truth would be seen from people's happiness, in their eyes and their words rather than other people's opinions. Facing the truth, his truth would hurt so many more, however as his farther once said 'none of us can improve without knowing the truth, even when it hurts'. All those feelings that kept creeping into his brain, he didn't know what to do. He felt so wrong, he knew what the feelings meant but he knew what would happen if he acted on them – he knew what that would make him if he did. Some nights he just wanted to cry, but no one could see him cry and with the thin walls in the flat he knew that if he shed a single tear someone would know and ask questions. His dad couldn't find out, neither could his mum. He knew it would break them. He saw what happened to Mr. Amos, no matter how much his dad tried to hide it from him it spread round popular like wildfire. Timothy was an observant boy – he saw the pain in Mr. Amos eyes every time he held his child, everyone knew he had love for his chid but that didn't change who he was.

Tim had spent weeks leading up to this meal trying to decipherer his feels, he read medical journals in the hunt for answers. Spending his weekends reading his dads medical textbooks to work out what he could do.

No one spoke about it, no one at school even mentioned it. His grammar school was great but it didn't give him anyone to talk to – he couldn't tell a soul what he was feeling, how confused he was. Oh, how he longed to find someone he could tell. He wasn't used to finding things from his family but he knew he had to be. He knew he didn't have choice, if his feelings were as they expected they were, he knew they weren't going away but he had to pretend they were nothing. He knew he wasn't alone, he read it in the papers all the time about men being charged with indecent assault but he tried to avoid the convocation with his dad, he avoided asking the questions he really wanted to know.

It was on his mind while he buttoned up his shirt and flicked over his hair. He smiled at himself in the bathroom mirror.

"Come on Tim, the nuns do hate it when we are late for Sunday Lunch" Dr Turner shouted at Tim as he made the final adjustments to his shirt and continued to plaster a smile across his face. He was continuing to become more secretive since starting back at school. Doctor Turner had noticed too – he was a doctor, he picked up when his son changed hair products. He spent nights wandering if he should ask his son what was wrong. Timothy spent nights wandering why he hadn't.

Xxx

With lunch underway he still couldn't get it off his mind, he tried. He laughed at the Nurse Crain's attempt at a joke and even made small talk with Trixie, it was the first time the turners had eat at Nonnatus House, since Delia arrived back in popular and since the sister had passed away, the atmosphere was different to before but Timothy couldn't put his finger on why. He liked thinking about why it took away from his feelings and allowed him to concentrate on something else. He watched silently as Patsy and Delia kept themselves to themselves, laughing at seemingly inside jokes. They even had little nicknames that Timothy hadn't heard used before. He continued people watching until the phone rang.

Trixie was on call , so with a glare but no words spoken by sister Julienne she removed herself form the table to get the phone, people carried on as normal. The familiar line 'Nonnatus House, midwife speaking" Hit everyone's ear drums but no one paid much attention to the rest of the convocation. She returned to the table less than 5 minutes after she had left – she looked more flustered than anyone had seen her in a while.

"It was Mrs. Amos" She said causing the table to look at her, with puzzled looks across their faces. She couldn't settle back in her seat, and kept flattening don her uniform as she continued "Mr. Amos killed himself earlier today – it was just confirmed" Trixie's words echoed around the now silent room. The words sat deep in Timothy's mind, everyone knew he was having trouble with the medication and he had tried before. Patsy's face dropped and Delia's tried as hard as she could to keep a face that wouldn't give away her pain, everyone knew they had spent time with Mr. Amos after the events, and everyone knew how openly on his side Patsy was, and so her emotions didn't shock anyone.

"How terrible" Nurse Crain said, breaking the silence. Even when trying to sound caring her face still looked stern and emotionless. Her face didn't feel anyone with warmth like Trixie's did.

"Poor women, left alone with a baby. He only had to stand by her and do the right thing" Sister Winifred said. Everyone knew her view on the situation, but for youth timothy he had never heard what he had to say first hand. Ass the words left the sister mouth Delia's face dropped faster than a corpse in cement boots. In that instant her skin became greyed, she tried to hide her grief and went on with the silence of the meal.

Doctor Turner always told Timothy that would could tell a person's emotion jut from their eyes, that they were the window to the soul but aren't sat at that silent table Timothy realised something that eyes aren't the window to a soul at all they are just a hole in a wall. That no boy really knows what's going on in anyone else's mind, they just makes estimated guesses and maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

Scanning his head around the room Timothy saw his mum, she looked completely unaffected by his death but she liked to avoid gossip of any sort, she was focused on his little sister who was cooing at Sister Monica Joan Trixie still looked shaken up but she answered the phone after all – she had to deal with the crying wife, her shakiness was understandable. Patsy's face left Timothy's mind wandering, he stared at it, until he stared going cross eyes. Her face was one of hidden fear, untold guilt and a strange type of grief every so often her face smiled flashed with shame, shock and embarrassment. He stared at it for a long time trying to work out where he recognised it. Why he could spot her emotions so easily yet why it was so confusing ad uncertain. He had an emptiness fill his heart, a numbness that pounded his brain why he tried to process why him and Patsy, had the same emotions. Why did they have the same emotions, Patsy's her a lot stronger than his but she knew Mr. Amos and she was better at hiding emotion, she had had lots of practice. All of a sudden it hit him like a ton of bricks – he knew why he and Patsy were making the same unseen facial expression. He let out a short gasp and a fake cough in an attempt to cover it up – the silent table looked at him.

"Timothy" His dad snapped at him

"Sorry" Tim responded. Nobody asked him any questions. He tried not to fixate on his theory but it was eating up at him, he wanted to talk to her about it. He didn't have a reason to talk to Patsy about it, he didn't have a reason to talk to Patsy at all. Other than a few convocations abut scouts they had barley exchanged a single sentence, they didn't need to. Patsy didn't have much to do with the Turners or anybody around popular really just the people that she lived with and the expected mothers that came and went.

Patsy looked in Tim's direction, looked at his eyes. She didn't see what he saw, she didn't see his hidden expressions. He wanted to say something but he knew he simply couldn't, he tried to forget it and focus on the food that was slowly going cold on his plate – he tried to eat it but he wasn't hungry.

Patsy's heart went out of Mr. Amos but she knew she couldn't show the table how much she really cared because she didn't care about Mr. Amos per say but she cared because they were the same, he was like her, like her and Delia but he couldn't get through it. He didn't have anyone like Patsy had Delia. She was trying to get Delia's attention , she needed support even if it wa jut a supportive eye contact just for a millisecond to prove that what they were doing was worth it but Delia was far too busy discussing smoking with doctor Turner, Delia was determined to get Patsy to stop if it was the last thing she did.

The food got eaten in small talk, no one spoke anything more to do with the death and people tried to focus on the future and the year ahead. People avoid any convocation that could start a debate and even resorted to talking about the Easter production the Cubs had put on with the help of other clubs in popular.

Tim couldn't get his mind to stop working, to stop thinking about Patsy how she must be feeling. How he felt. He felt so alone, he didn't know what he wasn't meant to do but he knows about Patsy weather she relied he knew or not, he needed someone to comfort him and tell him it's all going to be okay – the only person he could ask for that is her because she won't turn him into the police or tell a soul because she is one.

On the way out he took a sneaky look at the router to work out when she was next off "Wednesday" He muttered to himself, trying to make sure he remember it, he was going to have to come and see her, with his school still being off for Easter and his parents running the chest clinic, it shouldn't be too hard for him to slip away unnoticed.

Monday and Tuesday ere long and hard for Timothy, he tried to avoid his family and the hard convocations. It had gone round about Mr. Amos death and once again dykes were the topic of convocation – a convocation timothy was very glad didn't have to happen during the school term. Holding his tongue was getting harder as his feelings were getting more settled in his body, they weren't making him as unsettled as they had been before that Sunday lunch. He didn't know what had changed but something had.

Xxx

He walked up to the steps slowly, confirming there was only 1 bike in the shed he slowly opened the large wooden door to the house. He jumped back a little when he saw Delia in the hallway, minding her own business. Delia was just as shocked as he was, and they both didn't know what to say.

"Sorry to be a pain" Timothy said "Is Patsy in?" His voice sounded quiet and soft, he sounded almost scared when talking to Delia.

"Yes, she's upstairs. We are playing cards, that's if I can find where they have been hidden" Delia said smiling at Timothy.

"I found them Deels" Patsy screamed

"Pats, Timothy is here to see you" She paused for a moment waiting to see if her girlfriend would reply, facing silence she continued "Can he come up?" Delia asked. She wasn't sure if there was rues against it but she wasn't sure what to do, she had never come across a lost teenage boy in the corridor before, never mind one asking for Patsy.

"Sure" Patsy screamed back. Tim let out a sign or nerves and fear.

He followed Delia up the wooden stairs to the door Patsy shared with Trixie.

Patsy was playing one of Trixie's records, lay casually on her bed smoking a cigarette.

"Pats, put the cigarette out" Delia said, her soft welsh voice masked the seriousness of the sentence but Patsy did as she was told

"Is everything okay?" Patsy's asked Timothy, she was genuinely concerned about the boy, she didn't consider yourself close to him, in fact in her opinion she didn't know if from Adam yet here he was in the doorway to her room looking terrified.

"I-I I was wandering if I could get advice?" He asked her, Patsy looked at Delia and Delia looked back at Patsy.

"Well don't just stand there come in, sit on Trixie's bed. Just don't get shoe marks on the covers" Patsy said, smiling. Her mind started to race about the things he could possibly want advice over. Timothy did as he was told and Delia shut the door behind them, the tension in the room could have been cut by a knife.

"Mr. Amos" Timothy said breaking the silence. His heart hammered though his chest but his face stayed casual with no hint of hesitation.

"What about him?" Patsy asked

"Why do bad things always happen to people like him?" Timothy asked, it wasn't the question he originally set out to ask but he needed to start somewhere. Delia had now sat close to Patsy as they both we facing Tim on the opposite bed.

"Bad things happen all the time Timothy" Delia said, giving Patsy time to think a response that wouldn't give her or Delia away.

"Why is it such a bad thing what Mr. Amos did?" Tim then asked, he was getting closer the question he wanted to know. Patsy was no good with caring or subtle responses and she couldn't bring herself to answer but she could see the confusion on Timothy's face.

"Because what Mr. Amos did is illegal, no matter what peoples personal opinions are" Patsy said, she really wished she would have finished that cigarette.

"Would you consider it a risk worth taking?" Timothy asked, he was slowly losing fear in his voice and was gaining confidence as he spoke.

"I'm scared" He suddenly said before either of the girls had time to reply. Delia gave a quick glance at Patsy who looked in amazement and horror back at her. Patsy and Delia were way out of their depth but they couldn't leave him scared, he was a teenage boy not a criminal.

"Things will get better, they have too because we are regular people, all 3 of us and we won't have to live in hiding forever. If you remember that then It makes everything a little easier" Delia said, placing her hand over Patsy's, on the bed.

Timothy smiled as he took in the words Delia said, he finally for the first time felt like he wasn't alone. Patsy who was now looking straight at timothy could see the hidden pain wiped across his face, it was a pain that needed to stay hidden at least for now.

"Gosh young man you need to stop worrying, it's scary we know and we both want it to get easier but I am sure one day you will meet a nice fella who will treat you right – you have just got to be very careful" Patsy said. She didn't want to open up to Doctor Turners son, it felt strange but he needed to know that he wasn't alone, no matter how he felt he would never be alone.

Tim still looked uncertain but not like he did before, he looked back to how Patsy remember him looked in the previous times she had seen him – uncertain was just the way he looked because the harsh reality was that was going to be his primary feeling for most of his life.

"If you need anything at all, you know where we are sweetie" Delia said, her voice was softer and less harsh than Patsy's


	2. Chapter 2

**Please check out my other fanfic on WattPad story/66392877-sorry-for-the-sin,**

 **I'm not sure where this is going , just pre-warning you**

XXX

Over the months after Easter, timothy would often see Patsy and Delia, they would make subtle small talk using code words to understand how Tim was really doing. Delia worried about him and spent many nights curled up in Patsy's warmth while Patsy slept – her mind would wonder to all the possible outcome because they have told Timothy it was going to be okay and Delia had told herself that it was going to be okay but on some dark rainy nights she wasn't sure that I was going to get better. Since talking to the girls, Tim wasn't scared anymore – he was very glad his hunch was right but he was still scared they would turn him into his Dad, so he kept his distance from his dad hoping that his dad would put it down to him becoming an adult and nothing more serious.

Timothy did what Delia told him too – he tried not to think about it and he tried to remain hidden, he didn't let his eyes linger for too long and he kept his opinions neutral over the subject, he didn't come across too passionate but he didn't come across like he was against it – that way he didn't draw attention to himself but he didn't start a debate either.

As the spring drew to a close and with summer just around the corner Tim continued his life as normal but while he could try and convince himself that marrying a women is for the best he couldn't help but feel sorry for Patsy and Delia the unspoken hours he had spent talking to them – he understood their love and he wanted that but he knew that while it wasn't against the law for them it was for him and he didn't want to be a criminal he just wanted to be happy. That was all but he couldn't tell anyone that, anyone but the secret lovers at Nonnatus House – he loved hearing stories that they told him of the gateways and how happy they were.

Patsy had agreed to help Timothy with his history paper – while history wasn't her strong point , no one seemed to mind that they would spend time together. They finished his history project quickly but continued to meet in the little coffee shop her and Delia loved every other week, sometimes with Delia if she could get the time off. It was good for Tim that's why Patsy did it. It was the only Tim for an hour a fortnight that he could be his truest self, he could talk about the events at school and as long as he didn't yell it, he could tell the girls how he felt and they just smiled like proud parents.

Patsy and Delia never spoke about timothy but oh how Delia felt like a parent – she knew that having a child was never going to happen but helping Timothy with his problems was the closest she could get, and she would hold on to any stories Timothy told them just as he did to theirs. He had some many questions about how they made it work and while he wouldn't dare ask them all, the answers gave him comfort.

On a dim evening in the coffee shop, Tim's questions filled their ears, laughing and joking at the answers.

"How did you know?" Tim asked over his glass of water.

"Know what?" Delia asked. Patsy looked at him with the same puzzled look as Delia.

"About each other, I mean it's not like you can announce it to all the student nurses," He asked, taking another sip of his water, watching Patsy taking a drag of her cigarette. He only saw Patsy smoke once in a while, Delia hated her doing it especially around Timothy, so it was only when it had been a long day Delia let her. Timothy had seen Patsy smoke when Delia wasn't around but he had sworn he wouldn't tell Delia, he wouldn't have anyway – they were the 2 people that knew everything about him , it would have been terrible for him if had had caused an argument.

The truth was they hadn't thought about it, their relationship had just happened and that was the end of it – they hadn't spoke about it before either, before Timothy they didn't have any real reason to talk about their secret relationship. Patsy had no one to talk to about it, no one that she could tell anyway. So longed to tell Trixie but just didn't have the words, and she didn't know how she would react – she was engaged to a priest after all.

"Well, how did you know about me?" Patsy asked. She had always wanted to know because Timothy had come to find her to ask for help. She had no idea about timothy before he told her.

""We hide the same emotions when we heard about the death of Mr. Amos," He said quietly not to draw attention to the convocation as the coffee shop started to empty out.  
Patsy smiled, that was the truth and she knew it.

Delia let out a short sudden burst of laughter "said you weren't hidden about your feels Pats" Delia said smiling

"I guess not," Patsy said smiling back at Delia. Taking the last drag before putting it out on the ashtray.

"Why do you ask cariad?" Delia asked Timothy, looking him dead in the eyes in order to avoid Patsy smiling faces.

"Because theirs this guy…" He got cut off by Delia mothering reaction

"Oh be careful Timothy" Delia burst out, probably slightly louder than she thought. Patsy tried to hold in her giggles at Delia's sudden outburst.

"Ignore her, she will most likely cry in a minute," Patsy said while still trying not to laugh. She knew that this must have been an important topic to Timothy and if like so many other days they spent in the coffee shop it would end with a very emotional Delia. Timothy was 16 but Delia's emotions still made him laugh.

"He is in my history class, his dad is the butcher in the town over" Timothy couldn't hide the smile as he spoke.

"A name?" Patsy said, her voice even after all this time she had spent with Timothy till sounded harsh and sometimes uncaring. She did care she just didn't need to hear a 2-hour story for a simple question

"Jack" Timothy replied, the word stuck to the roof of his mouth like even saying it was wrong.

"And what about Jack makes you think" Delia paused for a moment not sure how to phrase it "what you think?" She sounded like she cared about Tim's problems. This was the first crush Tim have ever mentioned or smoke about in all the times they had met for coffee and Delia wanted to make sure she handled it correctly after all Timothy trusted them and Delia didn't want to break that trust.

""We were talking about Hitler and the camps," Timothy said. Patsy took a deep breath, although she wasn't in a Hitler camp, just the words brought her body to silent shakes. Delia placed her hand casually over Patsy's and held it tight for less than a couple of seconds before removing it to avoid stares.

"Sorry," Timothy said softly. Pasty had never really spoken to timothy about what happened in the camps she hadn't needed too but just the mention of Hitler and her mind raced straight back there.  
"Go on" Delia encouraged, patsy gave a small nod, so Timothy continued.

"We were talking about who was held in the camps and it came up about the" he lowered his voice for the last word "Homosexuals." He said the word with so much shame and guilt. It was a tone that Patsy recognised and could relate too but when she was a child there wasn't a world for it, it wasn't spoken about.  
"And he made a massive thing, asking why it was wrong" Timothy stopped talking wanting advice but the girls didn't really have any they didn't know what to say. They had never had anyone openly stand up for the Gays or even question what had happened to them because people scared but this poor boy in Timothy's History class , may have just made his life a whole lot harder.

"I know its hard Tim" Delia said. It was all the could say, she knew how hard it was to spend years trying to understand your feelings then when you finally get your head round them realising that they are looked down upon and in Tim's case illegal.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Patsy asked- she felt like she was stating the obvious.

"About history?" Tim questioned

"No you fool about anything," Patsy said. As the summer sun started the fade the air got cool and the coffee shop was now just the 3 of them, when they felt like they were overstaying there welcome. They left laughing and forgetting all the conversation they had just had in there.


	3. Chapter 3

The boy wasn't mentioned again throughout the summer – as the days got lighter and the weather got warmer, Patsy and Delia were still as busy as ever. Their trip to Paris had been delayed due to the ever growing amount of babies and pregnant mums Nonnatus House were dealing with. Delia's mother was more than thrilled. She and Delia had continued to drift apart since Delia had come back to London, Delia knew that the truth was slowly breaking her mother so it was easier to shut her out altogether.

Patsy and Delia spent their days off sat I any patch of grass they could find. They had come across this courtyard, not too far away from popular and spent many sunny evenings staring at the fading sun and enjoying their own company –it was no Paris but it wasn't sneaking into each other's rooms either. It was a fine place for them to talk about the day and even spend a few evenings discussing Timothy. They hadn't seen him as much as Delia would have liked because they couldn't think of a reason too – there was no sensible reason for the 2 nurses to be meeting up with the teenage boy and they all knew that, they could hardly explain the situation to Doctor Turner. If they could do that then they wouldn't have had to start meeting up in the first place. They sat, sometimes in the shade a few of the larger trees offered them. They laughed and while they were out there they felt real and alive.

One evening they had managed to arrange to meet Tim – he had rang Nonnatus House in a bit of a state and Patsy knew that while getting this involved was dangerous , she knew Delia would completely skip her shift if she knew Timothy was in the smallest bit of pain- especially over something that Delia felt effected them all. The coffee shop in this weather was too crowded and would draw too much attention. Patsy had called Mrs. Turner and requested young timothy's help with something for the cubs. Mrs. Turner while wasn't completely convinced didn't question and didn't stop Timothy running out the door and heading the Patsy and Delia.

There evenings were postcard perfect, even the buses to their courtyard was running on time. The grass was still a soft summery green that almost had a tint of blue and in the sky was enough pristine white clouds to show one how beautiful the sky was, how perfect it was.

As they sat down, both the girls looked in both fear and excitement waiting for Timothy to talk.

"I was right" Timothy said, staring up at the sky.

"Right about what?" Delia asked, her welsh accent made her comment sound less obvious. Patsy had a clue but was trying her best not to jump to conclusions as she had learnt that around Timothy , a conclusion was normally no way near the real outcome.

"About Jack" Timothy said, he was now staring at the girls with his cute still childlike smile wiped shamelessly across his face.

Delia smiled, a proud smile but Patsy just looked concerned

"Are you going to elaborate?" Patsy asked "I feel if you don't poor Delia might explode" She laughed a little, and so did Delia as she let out a large gas of air.

"Well we spoke- about things over than history" He said smiling as he referred to advice Patsy had given him in the past months.

"Course you did" Patsy responded, she was laughing at young Timothy, while his voice had broken and he was looking more grown up and more like his farther every day. Looking at him say on the floor, sleeves rolled up, smiling, and laughing. He still looked like the young boy Patsy met when she first moved to Nonnatus House all that time ago. Patsy and Delia we both sat on a bench, type contraception- it was more like a broken down wall but they sat happily all the same.

"We spoke about many things in the past weeks, until we broke up for school. We both spoke about all are other friends getting into relationships, and talking about girls and how we didn't really see the interest" Patsy smiled as she recalls having conversations with Trixie, and her not taking the very large hint that Patsy was giving her.

Well I hadn't seen him really since school ended for the summer but I was doing my paper round earlier and bumped into him – his older sister is pregnant and attending the clinic. He had been forced to help her pram shop while her husband was working" He spoke fast and barley paused for breath "He suggest that we needed to see more of each other and handed me this note back of a receipt" The smile hadn't left his face. While Delia's head was filling with possible problems, as an over protective person does. Delia was normally less subtle than Patsy but she didn't want Timothy to get caught. The risk was too big; patsy on the other hand was filled with the excitement hat Timothy may have found someone like she had found Delia. She didn't know where she would be without Delia and the chance that Timothy could have the same thing as she was lucky enough to have. That just filled her right up.

Timothy tumbled around in his trouser pocket pulling out a scrappy little bit of paper

"The silver buckle, Saturday 3pm "

Jack

Xx

While both Patsy and Della knew they had to stay rationale about the situation they couldn't help but sile at Timothies happiness

"Be careful Cariad" Delia said, sounding more like her mother than made Patsy comfortable

"Be safe Tim, but do have fun" Patsy said smiling. A cigarette would really have made that moment but she didn't want that disappointed face to appear on Delia's face.


	4. Chapter 4

Much to Patsy's horror, both she and Delia ended up at the Silver Buckle at 2.45pm on Saturday- Patsy who had been on call for the last 2 nights was beyond tired but Delia wanted her there, even if Timothy didn't. Timothy knew they were going to turn up and had given up trying to tell Delia otherwise, he knew he wasn't going to win but Delia had promised not to speak to him or even make long obvious eye contact.  
"I got a letter from my mother last night," Delia said staring out the window  
"She asked about all the girls at Nonnatus House. She obviously didn't mention you by name" She said smiling a little. Patsy knew where she stood with Delia's mum and she wouldn't ever push it. Weather Delia's mum knew about her and her daughter or not she still blamed Patsy for Delis return to London and Delia's wish to become a midwife.  
Patsy smiled "Assume she's well," Patsy said looking at Delia. Patsy really tried to care because she cared about Delia but she couldn't ever forgive Mrs. Busby for not sending those letters – she went through so much pain when Delia was in Wales. She couldn't talk to anyone, those letters would have made her fake smiles and her ghastly dances with random strangers slightly easier to bare.

"Do you remember our first time here Deels?" Patsy asked. Their first date took place right where they were sitting, they drank coffee and laughed about the junior doctors. Their first date was just an indent of their time together. They also made several loops around the area, how may neither of them can recall. Neither one wanted to stay out, standing still for too long in case they bumped into anyone, their conversations in this very coffee shop had been shy, almost like they knew it was going to be something great. They had spoken to each other on and off shift but if it wasn't for that appalling night shift when they were both new on the ward they both knew they wouldn't be where they were today. There the first kiss had taken place on one of their circuits around, in the lost light of the evening, they smiled as Delia pulled Patsy in close and gave her one sweet soft kiss, just long enough that they both knew they had found their other half , just short enough that no one saw. The kiss that night was long enough for both the nurses to realise that fate had handed them a dangerous hand. Just like fate had done for Timothy.  
Delia never had time to answer before a young man appeared outside the shop, looking about Timothy's age and very slightly nervous.  
"Pats..." Delia said, her voice was trying to stay calm but had gone up in pitch. "Do we think that's him?" The young lad checked his watch as he stood outside. Patsy turned her head to look out the coffee shop window. There stood a young man. Dark hair, almost black even in the summer sun. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses that neither Patsy nor Delia had seen before, he looked about Timothy's age but had a sense of smile that timothy lacked. The boy brushed imaginary dirt from his summer shirt and smiled as this watch his 3. The boy would have been completely pale if it weren't for all his freckles which gave him a childlike face, and made his jaw bones look more rounded then patsy thought they would be. There were so many freckles on his face with small pale spaces here and there, like the tips of grass struggling to show through the golden-brown leaves of fall.  
"That must be him," Patsy said trying not to stare but she didn't want to take her eyes off him. She was trying to read his face like Timothy had been able to do all those months ago. She was having no luck when Timothy came into both her and Delia's eye line.  
"I'm nervous for him," Delia said, they both stared. This was a big thing- neither of them knew how this coffee was going to end but they were going to be there to pick up the pieces if Timothy needed them. Patsy wouldn't admit it but she was rather glad Timothy wasn't having to go through it alone like she or Delia did. She had spent many a night in her boarding school wondering if she had anyone that she could talk to. She was glad Timothy found them.

Timothy could feel his heart beating out of his chest, he was shorter than Jack and had a sort of childlike nerdiness that Jack had lost throughout his lower teenage years.

The young boys greeted each other outside. Timothy shot the girls a short sharp stare which caused them both to burst out into laughter which made Tim more nervous. Tim looked uneasy as the boys eat in the corner of the coffee, Timothy went up and got the both a drink as instructed by Patsy in their conversation early.

Jack filled every pause and breath with more chatter. Timothy just smiled and laughed – he laughed before the punchline for things that weren't even funny but neither of the boys seemed to care. The girls watch the boys silently like watching a silent movie, getting themselves soaked in the ambient music and glancing loving eye contact across the table to each other, they felt almost proud of themselves, even though Timothy would be in this situation with or without them – they just knew that he wouldn't be feeling so alone.  
"I feel like a proud mum," Delia remarked, watching patsy light up one of her stupid cigarettes, he had early given them up completely but while still sharing a room with Trixie stopping was harder than Patsy would ever let on.  
Patsy smiled at Delia "I wouldn't tell Doctor Turner" Patsy remarked taking another drag of her cigarette. Delia looked at her disapprovingly but the look didn't work on Patsy like it used to.

While they couldn't hear what was being said Timothy's facial expressions told the story that they were hoping they would. Patsy couldn't help feeling sorry the boys. While Delia was full of joy and proudness. Patsy just felt sorry for them – they didn't have an easy life ahead of them and they didn't even have anywhere they could go to spend stolen evening and secret moments. They were both still young but boys there age were 'courting' young women but if Timothy's conversations with Patsy were anything to go by she wasn't sure he would ever bring himself too. Not that she could blame him, she couldn't think of anything worse than dating a man, and getting married to him, having children. While she wanted all those things she wanted them with Delia, not a man. In the same that Timothy wanted all those things but with a man. But timothy was breaking the law.

While Timothy laughed and smiled at Jack he couldn't help but think about his life and what he was doing, he knew that he shouldn't be led by his heart alone, neither can one live false lives of misery in dark caves under neon lights. He knew that he would rather do 1000 coffee dates like Patsy and Delia did then one real socially acceptable date because that was who he was.

"Hearts filled with love beat with joy of the new day and seek chances to enrich the lives of others. Love spills from them, and so their love grows stronger. Such people are wound together with an invisible string of happiness and fraternity. And so there loving heart is a gift, not simply to the person who keeps it safe in their flesh, but to everyone who's life they touch. Such a heart sends out ripples of love that keep on going in the present and into the future yet so untold." Delia said, reading from the newspaper  
"Deels – what rubbish are you reading to me now?" Patsy said smiling – watching the boy's part ways outside the coffee shop. It was just gone 5 and she had to be home to go on call any minute yet she felt no desire to leave.  
"It's from this new section in the paper. I thought it was highly appropriate Pats"  
"Well it sounded to me something that Sister Monica Joan would say" Patsy replied


	5. Chapter 5

The summer brought more happiness, more smiles and more secrets. Every laugh Timothy shared with his new found lover brought more secrets and got them further and further into a complicated lie, that Delia couldn't help but get confused trying to keep up. During the heat of August Patsy struggled to sleep, she had come home from on call, yet just couldn't switch off. There was a horrible feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. She had passed her welsh lover leaving for her early morning shift, the shared a secret kiss before continuing down the corridor like nothing had happened. That's how they lived their life. It was nothing new to them.

Hearing Trixie get up she didn't move; her mind lay there working but her body was tired. She knew she would have to move sooner or later; clinic didn't function without the whole team there no matter how tired Patsy was feeling. After Trixie had shut the door slowly behind her, Patsy's moves were slow yet her mind was still working. She could hear a male voice downstairs but didn't recognise it at first; she couldn't hear it clear enough. Her inquisitive nature got the better off her having longer in bed. She wasn't sleeping after all, and she couldn't sneak in and see Delia as she wasn't there.

"I don't recall anyone by the name of Isaac Finch on the diabetic round but that doesn't mean doctor shouldn't see him." Nurse Crain was speaking to the man in her rushed tone; she was on edge about starting the clinic on time and with Patsy last of presence they were already running late.

"Does he even deserve to be seen by a doctor after what he's done?" Sister Winifred remarked.

"PC Noakes?" Patsy couldn't help but remark as she walked into the kitchen. Everyone looked at Patsy but continued with the conversation that was already well underway. Trixie wasn't saying a word but washing her hands as Peter Noakes at the wooden table opposite Sister Julienne; newspaper in hand.

"No one deserved to be deprived of medication to make them live Sister Winifred. You a women of God should know that" Trixie snapped all of a sudden. While she and Patsy had never actually spoken about homosexuals they had an understanding, Trixie wouldn't ask questions and Patsy wouldn't share. What Trixie didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"We found another six at the pier on Saturday. Charging them all with indecent assault," The police officer said. His calmness angered Patsy but she didn't want to air her opinion.

"Another 6?" the sister remarked, almost shocked.

"Yes, an epidemic," He said calmly back. Patsy hadn't heard the whole conversation but she knew what it was about. It was the main reason Peter visited the house.

The title of the newspaper "HOMOSEXUALS" That was all it said but it said enough. At the table, there was silence now, but not a happy and relaxed morning one; there was tension and the few words people said fell like dirty pebbles onto the table.

"I will ask Dr Turner about Mr Finch but if you don't mind we must get off," Nurse Crain said, Trixie smirked at the way Nurse Crain spoke to Pc Noakes. Not caring who he was. She had a job to do and frankly he was just delaying their perfectly planned schedule. Patsy felt a lump in her throat she wanted to saw something but didn't know what to say. She didn't want to draw attention to herself. Patsy was tired and drained. She knew it was her fight but she also knew there were a time and a place.

With a nod off PC Noakes, no more was said as the girls left the room and cycled to the clinic.

XXX

"Nurse Mount" Doctor Turner burst with as the girls rushed through the door. "Do you know where Timothy could have got too?" Patsy's face clearly told the poor distressed doctor she had no idea what he was talking about.

"We were all talking this morning about the news when he just upped at left" Patsy couldn't hide her concern. She had no idea where he would have gone. Fear looped around Patsy's mind until there was no room for anything else. As the clinic continued, the tension in Patsy grew. Timothy wasn't one just to run off like his Dad had described. Shelagh was worried sick and every time the door or phone went her heart leapt into action as she hoped it would be Timothy. It wasn't. Patsy thought he may have gone to see Jack but she knew I he wouldn't just run off, his lies were thought out and question proof. This act was irrational and hadn't been thought through. This wasn't like Timothy at all; everyone knew it but nobody knew what Patsy and Delia knew.

Delia completely unaware of the chaos at the clinic or that Pc Noakes had made himself known at the house earlier couldn't have been more grateful for her break, a sit down with the thoughts and away from the male surgery ward that she had grown to hate. Her shift felt never ending and she had to use every bone in her body to keep her false smile plastered across her face.

"Nurse Busby" The matron shouted down the ward as Delia was about to take her well-deserved break. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around on the back of her heels like one used to do as a small child.

"A young man is waiting for you outside, in the corridor. He looked terribly distressed" The women said before walking off. She didn't say anything else just left Delias tired mind to wander, much like Patsy was doing. Only Delia had the answer to Patsy's worries.

"Tim," Delia said. The nurse entered the corridor without slowing her stride at all. One moment she was on a busy ward the next she was stopped dead in her track and stood in the doorway at the end of the corridor.

"Have you seen it D?" He looked up, his eyes looked dead. He had clearly been crying. He stood up facing the nurse now; he was taller than her but his thinness took all the scariness that his height may have implied.

"Let's go outside" She responded, her voice was calming to his frantic mind, she spoke softly and gave him comfort even though he wasn't sure why. The pair sat outside the hospital. Timothy was grasping the newspaper tightly He hadn't let go of it since he saw the headline this morning.

"How do you do it?" Timothy asked.

"Do What?"

"Be so happy, knowing the risk. Knowing what other people would say. How do you keep it going when all over the newspaper is how we need help" He wasn't talking but more a lost mermer. The tears flowed unchecked down his cheek and dripped off his chin. He wasn't sad, just lost.

"Things are going to get better. That's why I am happy because all this pain and hiding is just temporary."

"I just don't understand," Timothy said. He did understand, he had read all the medical journals, all the papers and all the studies but he also knew his heart and he couldn't read about that. He couldn't rely on textbooks for those things.

"you're not alone Tim, people like you walk past you all the time because people don't always meet someone so they get married and have a family to have any sense of safety. It won't be forever."

"I just hate it Delia" The young lad burst.

"I know Tim. So do I" Delia replied. There wasn't anything else she could say. When Delia was Timothies age, she didn't even know what homosexuals were never mind that she was a queer. She thought she was messed up, or she hadn't found the one. It had taken a particular ginger nurse before she understood her mind.


	6. Chapter 6

Delia sat with Tim for long over her break; she tried to change the subject but no matter what she did it always lead back to that news article. Becuase no matter what they spoke about Timothy couldn't hold back his tears or his fear for long enough. Timothy slowly and in his own time told Delia the events that lead him to the hospital. Delia nodded and kept telling him it would all be okay. That was all she could do.

"Timothy you need to go back to your Farther and your Mam they will be going crazy," Delia said placing her hands on the teenager's knee.  
"And what will I say?" Timothy asked "When they ask where I have been? Why I just ran off like I did?" Timothy was getting more flustered by the minute and Delias lack of response didn't help the situation. She didn't know what to say if they asked. She didn't want to give the young boy she cared deeply about wrong advice, but she knew that words needed to leave her mouth. This was the first time since Timothy had come to the girls that she didn't have any words to say to him, she didn't have wise words or metaphors. She just had tears that she never cried and advice that she knew would help.  
"Timothy you are going to have to explain to your parents what you need to say without saying it at all" While in her head the sentence was formed together correctly, upon opening her mouth she realised it probably didn't make much sense at all.  
"And how do I go about doing that?" Timothy asked.  
"By only speaking about the events when questions are asked and not really answer the questions at all," Delia said sounding the most like Patsy she thought she ever had.  
"I'm not sure I can lie to my parents though Delia."  
"Tim you won't be lying but you can't hide forever, they are going to be worried sick about you!" Delia said.  
"Thanks D," He said, shaking his head in a fast almost uncontrollable motion to swing the last few lost tears from his eyes.  
"You better go to the clinic Tim" Delias voice went serious just for a moment. Timothy knew that Delia was right, he knew that he couldn't hide forever. As much as he wanted just to run to the comfort of the boy he had to keep hidden.

He lifted himself off the bench slowly; he could feel his heart pumping in his chest, he didn't think it would be this hard. He just used to live in silent fear, but he knew that he had someone to talk to now. Delia watched the young boy walk off before she returned to the busy ward. She tried not to think about Timothy and tired to focus on the work she had ahead of her but Timothies pain sat deeply in the forefront of her mind.

He walked slowly towards the direction of the hall; trying to think of a reason why he just ran off like he did over a conversation that he and his Dad had most mornings. He couldn't think of a reason why. Not a ration one anyway. The anticipation was a nervous kind of energy. It tingled through him like electrical sparks on the way to the ground, gathering in his toes as he took a deep breath before pushing open the clinic door. The door he had opened 100 times before suddenly felt unbelievably heavy. With all the force and courage he could master he pulled the door, he felt the whole of the clinic staring at him, 100s of pregnant women's eyes glaring at him. In reality, no one even noticed the young boy walking in, apart from Trixie.

"Timothy, your Farther has been worried sick where earth have you been?" Trixie asks gliding over to the boy who stood by the door looking like a deer caught in the head lights. As Trixie spoke his mind went blank, he could only remember his name.

"Timothy" Shelagh burst, breaking from away from the mother she was talking to, and joining Trixie in facing the poor boy. In the grip of a silent panic the teenager couldn't get his thoughts together never mind his words.

"S-S-sorry" He murmured. Shelagh had never seen her son like this before in the time since she joined the Turner family Timothy had always been a happy boy, always confident and always had something today. But, right there he was neither.  
"I- I don't know what came over me..." he said again. Sensing the same uncomfortable vibe Trixie has received of Patsy on numerous occasions, especially after her trips out with Delia. Trixie decided it was best to get out the situation as quickly as she could.  
"I will go and let Doctor Turner know he's arrived back safe and well" She gave the flustered looking boy a sympathetic smile before walking off to find the doctor. Timothy had only been away a couple of hours yet but the way Shelagh was gripping him tightly in her arms, you would think he had been away for months.  
"Never do that again" Shelagh snapped, even when she was angry at Timothy her voice was still filled with love for the young man. She didn't know what he was hiding. Timothy wasn't sure she would ever know. While hugging his Mum, he was filled with guilt for the lie he was keeping. He wasn't sure how Patsy and Delia did it, and he wasn't sure how they lied to the world. How they just put on a brave face and bared it? It was a skill that he clearly hadn't yet mastered. He was trying though.

"Doctor, Timothy has just arrived," Trixie said, calmly walking into the back room where Doctor Turner was deep in a conversation with Nurse Crain. Stopping mid-sentence, the doctor turned to look at Trixie and smiled as the words sunk in "And he's okay?"  
"Perfectly fine" Trixie replied smiling back at the doctor. With that, Doctor Turner never finished his conversation with the older nurse but went to see his son. He had no idea what happened this morning. He hadn't made any connection, he had no reason to being an open homosexual wasn't a thing, and the doctor still saw it as a crime and a medical condition why would he think his grammar school son would do anything of that sort. Little did the innocent Doctor know what his son did when him and Jack a took camping trip. He would have disowned Tim if he knew the truth, or sent his son for treatment.  
"Where have you been?" The doctor said facing his son breaking up the hug between Timothy and his wife.  
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me" He repeated, slowly gaining his confidence back as he spoke. Neither the Doctor nor his wife knew what to say to that. They both knew that he wasn't going to share anymore and he did still look shaken up no matter how much he tried to hide it from them. He was their son, they noticed!

"Sit down Tim," His Dad said calmly "I won't belong, then we can go home" While everyone knew Timothy was perfectly capable of walking home by himself, he didn't want to push it. He didn't realise how much chaos he had caused when he walked out that morning. The truth was he didn't think at all. He did what he needed to do to stop himself from talking about how he felt with his parents; he would rather be told off for running off than being sent away for sharing too much. Timothy did as his father told him and took a seat at the end of one of the rows, staring at the children on the floor. Smiling as he recognised his sister playing peacefully with an old dolly that had been at the clinic since Tim could remember. He ended up staring at the blank white wall in front of him, zoning out the conversation between the pregnant women that surrounded. He couldn't think of a story for why he ran off so was eternally grateful when neither of his parents requested any more information. Every time he looked around the bust room he felt the tension and anxiety build up inside him, so he continued to stare blankly filling his mind of emptiness. Not thinking at all; that was all he could do because as soon as he thought he thought as Jack and God how he wanted to see him, he wanted to cry on his soldier about the days news. He knew he couldn't - not today.

"Tim!" A sharp voice broke him out of his trance and made his heart beat out of his chest once again. While Timothy knew that she wouldn't yell, he couldn't help but fear what the redheaded nurse was going to say.  
"Where the bloody hell were you?" The women said as she got close enough to the boy that not too many mothers would hear her swear at a teenage boy.  
"I went to the London" He murmured back, Patsy took a seat next to the boy, his voice filled with shame. He didn't mean for it too but both the girls had made it clear to him that he couldn't let it affect him. He let it get to him.  
"Did you see Deels?" Patsy asked, her voice had softened a little but still had the sharpness in which Tim had learnt to love and that I didn't mean she was angry it was just how the nurse spoke most the time.  
"Yes," He said "I am sorry, I know what you said but I just couldn't stand it any longer and I didn't know what to do," The boy said, he didn't want to cry. He knew he couldn't cry. It was something he couldn't change but every time it was plastered over then news it just reminded him of what he was doing, how wrong it was.  
"Its okay Timothy, I figured it would have been about the news. We had PC Noakes at the house before clinic" There was a sense of sadness in Patsy's voice, she didn't notice it when she spoke about things like this but Timothy did. He wouldn't ask her too manny questions, he already knew too much about the nurse life. They were in the same situation. They could relate to each other in a way that others simply couldn't.

"Nurse Mount! I do hope that you aren't getting behind!" Nurse Crain yelled across the hall, Patsy rolled her eyes then stood up to face the other nurse.  
"I had better go otherwise Nurse Crain will have my head on a stick," Patsy said smiling at Timothy, who replied back in a lost, alone smile. His smile still hid the pain he was feeling, but his smile did the job. It hid the truth to the outside world. Well to everyone but Patsy and his Dad. Doctor Turner watch the short exchange between his son and the red headed nurse, he knew a fake smile when he saw one. His son's smile was fake. While he wanted to ask Patsy what was wrong, he knew better than to get involved when Timothy hadn't told him. The doctor had faith that when his son was ready, he would open up. He had confidence in the bond that he and his son shared. If only he knew the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for sticking by the story , let me know what you think! Im working really hard on checking my work before post but please let me know if their is still grammar or spelling errors!**

 _ **Enjoy :)**_

* * *

"What was Timothy so shaken up about earlier?" Trixie asked Patsy as they both lay on the bed in the room, Trixie reading Vogue and Patsy quietly smoking a cigarette and staring out at the star covered sky that shone through the window like a beacon of hope. It couldn't have been long before midnight and outside the four walls the convent was silent, Patsy had spent the evening with Delia, Delia had spent the night worrying about Timothy while Patsy just listened and had to keep reminding her girlfriend that they weren't Timothy's parents, nor were they in Timothy position. They could give the young man all the advice under the sun, but he was a 16-year-old lad they couldn't stop him from reaction a certain way or acting a certain way.

"A hot flush or something," Patsy said trying to shake off the question as casually as she could. He body went stiff as she spoke, she hated knowing Timothy's secret, while it brought her and the boy closer. She hated having to lie to Trixie about yet another thing. Patsy was beginning to feel like she told her best friend more lies than facts.

"I have seen that look on him before. You have it sometimes when I ask you if you and Delia have had fun at that Jazz bar on the other side of time" Trixie replied, she didn't want an answer not in the way the question implied at least. Trixie didn't have a clue what was going on; she was just making small talk with the girl she shared a room with. Nothing more.

"Yeah, I guess so. That Jazz bar is always abnormally hot and sometimes gets me flustered if it gets busy" Patsy lied back, putting her cigarette out sharply on the ass tray and looking her roommate square on in the eyes.

"I'm just glad he's okay; I'm not sure I could have handled a full clinic with the Turners in such a state" Trixie replied, taking the unseen tension away from the girls conversation and making it a piece of light, easy small talk just like it was before.

"I hadn't seen poor Shelagh in such a state for a long time" Patsy replied back, keen to take the conversation away from her and Timothy.

* * *

"I can't believe this is how we are spending our first day off together in 2 weeks" Patsy whispered in Delia's ear as the pair sat on the top deck of the bus on their way to the park that they knew and loved. She didn't mind really, spending any time with Delia was appreciated, but Patsy just couldn't get her around how Timothy had become such a large part of their lives.

"Look I told Timothy we would meet him, and it was this or they just turned up at the house when we weren't prepared. I figured this would be better." The welsh girl said, she couldn't hide her excitement. She couldn't cover up the joy of getting to meet Jack for the first time, properly meet the boy that fills up all Timothy's thoughts.

September was drawing ever nearer, and they knew the sun wouldn't last forever, Timothy had asked the girls to meet him and Jack at the courtyard that Patsy had shown time a few months earlier. They walked to the small patch of grass where they had taken Timothy before. Patsy and Delia heard Timothy laugh from behind the trees before they could see him. Delias smile grew bigger as they turned to corner to find Timothy and the dark haired boy lay on a rug, by where they had sat before.

Their laughter was infectious and couldn't help but make Patsy's heart skip a beat. Noticing the girls presence, Timothy stood up.

"Hello," He said, he hugged Delia, the teenager was still growing and now towered over Delia. Timothy and Delia had a relationship that was different to the one he shared with Patsy. Patsy was there for advice and serious problems. She was there to keep his secret and give ration and helpful information. Delia was there to listen and to hold him while he cried. By her own admission Patsy wasn't great at dealing with an emotion teenage but unlike Delia, who like being relied on by someone younger than her. She liked having a motherly bond with someone. Timothy always laughs about how they look kind of similar and could totally pull off being siblings bar the fact Delia sounds very very welsh.

"Thank you for coming" Timothy whispered in Delias ear

"Wouldnt miss it for the world" She whispered back.

"Patsy, D. This is Jack," Timothy said. The dark hair lad looked tanned compared to when they last saw him. The summer had tinted his skin.

The boy stood up and smiled awkwardly at the two girls.

"Nice to finally put names to faces," Jack said smiling.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you finally," Patsy said.

Delia couldn't help herself, and gave the young man a warming hug. The boy looked slightly taken back but wasn't surprised.

"Told you she would hug you!" Timothy laughed

"Am I that predictable?" Delia said smiling.

"Yes," Both Patsy and Timothy said in sink before breaking out into laughter.

Delia and Jack soon got into a tense game of a frisbee, Timothy and Patsy lay in the sun, taking it all in before autumn came around again.

Watch them play as a sight to see. Delia had a competitive edge but was as graceful as a sledgehammer in a knife fight, not that she cared. Patsy knew she would even be able to throw the thing. Patsy also finally understood what young Tim said when he spoke about Jack. If other boys were grass, Jack was a rogue poppy. His colours were just brighter, making him stand out no matter what he did. His laughter was just as bright and filled with love as Timothy's, but he didn't hold any fear inside him like Tim did. There was no pain hidden inside his eyes. He was happy and free.

"He's nice Timothy," Patsy said, she paused for a second before saying "Please be careful."

"Says the one who lives with her lover in a convent," Timothy said laughing.

"Tim, I'm serious. Me and Deels are careful!" Patsy said laughing with the young man.

"So are we. I promise."

"I'm very glad he is getting along with Delia though. " Timothy said.

"Oh, so am I!" Patsy said back "There would have been chaos if they didn't get along," She said laughing but they both knew there was a seriousness in what she was saying. Delias opinion was crucial to Timothy; He knew that no matter what Patsy though she would be there for him.

"Its a shame you and Delia can't be parents. You would make the best parenting team" Timothy said, avoiding looking at Patsy and instead just watched the other 2 attempting frisbee.

"Yes, I guess we do. You and your chaos are enough to keep Delia occupied for now."

"What about you?"

"Timothy loves a funny thing, and if I can have Delia, then I don't need a big happy family no matter how much I may want one because I have her," Patsy said, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

"I'm sorry," Timothy said. Patsy hadn't opened up to the teenager like that before but felt somewhat better for it. She could see what Delia liked about having someone else to talk to. Someone else that understood what they were going through.

"I don't know what your apologising for. You will be in the same struggle as us" She said bluntly. Most people would be offended at the way Patsy had replied, but Timothy was used to it and almost found it comforting to hear Patsy harsh tone because much like Delia he heard the love that came when she spoke.

One thing that Patsy and Timothy could do was change the subject easily; they didn't over talk about something, nor did they stay on a touchy subject for longer than needed. Neither of them needed an elaborate discussion on a simple topic. That's why they got on so well, Patsy's blunt nature made Timothy feel safe and like he was being told the truth.

"I haven't dare told Delia that Jack smokes. I feel like she would kill me."

"Or him!" Patsy said smiling.

"Or him" Timothy repeated, He looked at Patsy now and the pair smiled at each other. Right at the moment Patsy couldn't help but feel a sense of completeness, a feeling of belonging. She didn't need a fancy house or lots of money. She just needed laughs, smiles and people they truly loved her and understood her.

"I'm glad you wanted us to meet him."

"I'm just glad you agreed to come; you always go out your way for me."

"Well, your the closest thing to a child Delia and I have. Our own gay baby" Patsy said smiling as she made a joke.

"I'm just glad. I've got you." Timothy said. He really did appreciate Patsy with all the things she had done for him, all the times she had met him on her day off even without Delia. All the times Patsy had made him understand what he was going through and all the times Patsy had made him feel like he wasn't alone.

"I still can't believe Tims got people like you," Jack said to Delia as they were playing frisbee.

"And you have got us now," Delia said before throwing the frisbee in the completely wrong direction.

"But if you hurt him, I swear..." She said, her sentence got cut off by Jack "I won't hurt him Delia, I promise."

"Okay" Was all she could say.

"I feel sorry for the pair of you," Delia said, she was serious but the happiness that was entwined in her welsh accent hide it whether she wanted it to or not.

"Why?" He asked her "We are happy, a lot of people never find that. I consider us pretty lucky" He replied. Jack has a view on his way of life that Delia hadn't seen before. She couldn't help but find it refreshing. This young man knew the risks, but he had found happiness, and that to him was better than anything.

"I had never thought of it like that before," Delia said.

"Never be like a flag my dad would tell me," Jack said as the 4 of them enjoyed the sun. "dependent on the capricious breeze for its direction. Be the captain of your own ship; chart a course and navigate with determination in choppy waters. " He smiled at Timothy as he spoke, much like the way Patsy and Delia would share glances around the table "Do that and, no matter what happens, you will be proud of who you are."

"Your Dad sounds very wise," Delia said.

"I think he read it on the back of a cigarette packet or something," Jack said laughing to himself.

"So, how far along is your sister?" Patsy asked. Remember back to what Timothy had told them.

"She due any day now I think. I don't think she could have any more baby things if she tried mind you. My Ma's been knitted for the last six months. I think my Mums more excited then Rebecca."

"Most first-time grandparents are excited," Patsy said.

"Shes very excited, I will give her that" Jack laughed.

The conversation lead on to school and how neither of the boys was looking forward to putting their uniform back on next week. Neither of them was looking to make small talk about what they did for their summer or learning about Pythagoras and his theorem!

There was nothing awkward or uncomfortable when they spoke, no tension like Timothy fear and no judgement.

"We had better make a move Pats," Delia said breaking up the conversation. "If we miss dinner, Sister Julienne might kill us. plus you're on call later."

"Yes, I suppose your right. if we walk fast we may be able to catch the 4.30 bus back to Poplar" Patsy said.

"Back to reality" Delia murmured.

"Assume you boys are staying?"

"Yes, but I will call in tomorrow morning. Sister Winifred is sewing my name into my new pe kit."

"Okay. See you in the morning Tim," Patsy said. Both boys stood up when the girls did and prepared themselves for one of Delia's hugs. They weren't disappointed. She grasped each of the boys in turn and embraced them in her arm welsh arms.

"Nice to meet you Jack," Patsy said

"See you again" Jacks replied

"I don't doubt it," Delia said smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been 3 months since Delia and Patsy met the boys in the park, life had gone back to normal like they told them it would. Patsy would often see Jack around poplar with Timothy. Working on projects or just spending friendly time together. Doctor Turner didn't say anything, not that he thought there was anything to say. He was glad his son had made a class friend. Someone his own age. The boys didn't talk about the future, in the same way Patsy and Delia never do, its scary and unknown for most but for those 2 couples while there ages may be nearly 10 years apart the problems are the same.

Jacks sister had given birth to a baby girl she had named Sophie grace. The baby was happy and healthy, Timothy would just as often go over to Jacks, he enjoyed meeting the baby. Jacks mother found his son's friend happy and calming, as well as friendly and kind. Which meant he was welcomed over every time he thought about appearing.

Timothy had stopped growing now and he looked the spitting image of his farther. In the 6 months since the pair first saw Jack in the coffee shop his baby face had continued to slim out. He was still slightly shorter than Tim but his jaw line was now almost as sharp as Patsy imagined it. They were ever so slightly dysfunctional, and if the 4 of them ever met up the bicker that took place between the 2 boys was enough to make them sound like an old married couple. But it was good. Delia would be the first one to say that she was over the moon for her little gay son. Jack and Patsy got on well, and Delia would hug him every time he saw him. The pair had become inseparable in the way young love can make you do. If Jack weren't male everyone would have assumed they were a couple, they were happy and they laughed like a couple. They would finish each other sentences and had inside jokes that they couldn't even start to explain to people. They were young and in love only no one but Patsy and Delia really knew. It was 1962, neither of the couples knew how much the world was going to change in the years that followed but they had become quite content in there little secrets.

"Nurse Mount, Nurse Busby just who I was looking for" Shelagh said as Patsy was packing away her equipment and Delia was sat on one of the sides that she totally wasn't allowed to be on, they pair were laughing about something that they couldn't understand but it made them laugh all the same. Patsy looked up from what she was doing and the pair went dead silent.  
"I was wondering if I could trouble you ladies, I have a question of the more personal nature" The nurse continued. Patsy knew it was Timothy; Neither of the girls ever really spoke Shelagh so she wouldn't have come to either of them for really personal questions. Her voice didn't sound angry but more worried, like her words were coming from a place off care rather than being horrible or trying to catch anyone else. Mrs. Turner knew that both Delia and Patsy still spoke to her son but she had decided a long time ago not to ask too many questions. Not that she thought there really were anyway.  
"Sure" Delia said smiling, looking briefly at her girlfriend with a hint of panic before facing Shelagh properly and smiling with her welsh smile.  
"How is Timothy?" The nurse asked.  
"What do you mean?" Patsy asked, she wasn't asking for any reason other than the fact she didn't understand what her fellow nurse meant.  
"Well we live in the same house yet he had barely said 5 sentences to me or Patrick in the last week and they were too do with a medical journal." The nurse said. Patsy tried her best to not to make any facial expressions. Her and Delia had met up with the boy briefly after he was at church only on the Sunday and he seemed fine, was semi-ranting about school and how he was excited for the future even if it still scared him to the bone.

"I believe he is well" Patsy said, trying to look like the question hadn't taken her back just a little. Timothy had said that things at home were up and down but Patsy had no idea he was the reason.  
"You are a good parent" Delia said, she recognized the tone in Mrs. Turners voice, she knew something that changed in her sons life that she wasn't sharing.  
"I just know something is up with him" Shelagh couldn't help but sigh. Delia had to grit her teeth she knew what timothy was doing, he was pushing them away so it wouldn't hurt as much, in the hope that they wouldn't ever know and that his parents wouldn't ask enough questions or know him well enough to ask about his love life. Delia recoginsed it because she had done the same thing with her mother since coming back to London. While she knew they Patsy wouldn't understand but Delia did, it was a stupid idea and Delia wasn't even sure it was working with her mother who was 1000s of miles apart but to do it on your parents that you lived with she had decided it wasn't going to end well for poor timothy.  
"I don't think we are the best people to ask about teenage boys" Patsy said laughing to herself.  
"But you know my Tim" Shelagh almost pleaded. Delia's heart sank while Patsy avoided eye contact, they knew the truth but they also knew that the truth couldn't be spoken about.

"Honestly Mrs. Turner, I think he is just being a teenage boy." Delia said, hoping her lying was more convincing then she thought.  
"He's just so happy yet so distant" The women said, looking down at her feet.  
"I'm sorry we can't help more" Patsy said trying not to sound as blunt as she wanted to. Patsy couldn't understand how the poor clearly concerned women felt. She had never been a parent and highly doubted she would ever be. She didn't understand why Shelagh was worried. She had stated herself that her son was happy. Even if she didn't know why Patsy couldn't understand why happiness wasn't the most important thing. Delia did. Delia wanted to grab the women and embrace her in one of her welsh bear hugs, tell her that her son was truly fine and the less questions asked the longer it would stay that way but she knew she couldn't.

The trouble was neither of them had the correct words to lie about Timothy, and neither one of them wanted to hurt timothy or get him in trouble with not only his parents but the law. Even though half the time Patsy didn't want to admit it they both cared very deeply about the teenage boy and his lover. Neither one of them wanted to ruin that. Delia had found a sort of family in Timothy, some day's she felt like he was her child but most the time he felt like a brother to him. Delia would risk it all to keep Timothy and Jack safe. They were her family… along with Patsy Mount.

* * *

"You can't ignore your family Tim" Delia said. Patsy was working, so Delia had 'accidently' wondered past Timothy Turner bus stop after he finished school. Now the pair was walking through the cobbled streets of poplar.

The lad in his uniform, just down at the street below his feet for a moment, be knew he couldn't deny it. He couldn't lie to Delia. He didn't want to lie to her. He could trust her but fear was still riddled in his body. When he was with Jack he forgot how complicated it, he forgot about the laws and society. He could forget about his parents but when he had to face the world alone. He was scared. He was more than scared. His emotions were always well hidden much like Delia managed to do. In all the romance novels had had read in English he was taught that love sets one free but in reality, in his reality, it just simply trapped him more.

"I just want to tell them all the parts to my life, but I can't" Timothy said slowly, he didn't turn to look at her, he didn't want to face her.  
"Timothy Turner you can't simply shut them out" Delia said, sounding more like Patsy than ever before. In any other situation Delia would have chuckled to her self and the sign that maybe her and Pats spent too much time together.  
"What happens if I open my mouth and say too much"  
"People won't believe what they don't want too" Delia said, remember a conversation her and Patsy had had before they booked to go to Paris together, that one phrase stuck with the Welsh nurse especially in recent months. The world was changing but too slow for people to assume that the relation between her and one she loved was anything more than just simply 'extreme friendship'.  
"You can tell them when you meet up with Jack or go for Coffee or even about your plans to go and spend a few days together in Brighton for his birthday. They are not going to jump to anything they don't want to Tim but by shutting them out your not solving anything."  
"Says the one ignoring her Mothers letters, and not returning her phone calls" Timothy said, he couldn't help but respond like that. It was his defense mechanism when he knew that someone else was right.  
"Oh my, aren't you turning into Patsy" Delia smirked, pushing her friend on the shoulder causing him to smile for the first time since she had 'run into him' at the bus stop.

Timothy just shrugged his shoulder and smirked back at the Welsh nurse. He couldn't help but sometimes sound like his 2 nurse friend. They had played such a big part in the recent months of his life. The pair of nurses had helped mould the boy into a young man without even realising it they would have a long lasting, life changing, effect on the doctors son.  
Before they knew it they were just back to making small talk, no matter how hard Timothy tried he couldn't help but bring up Jack. Jack was barely ever mentioned to his parents for fear but with Delia and Patsy it was easy the words just couldn't help but roll off his tongue not in fear but in pride.  
"Talk to them Timothy" Delia said smiling but trying her best to use her serious town as they got to the door to Timothy's.  
Timothy didn't say anything but nodded in the same way his Dad did when he didn't want to reveal fear or shakiness in his voice.

* * *

"Hey Mum" Timothy said putting his bag down on the floor by the door and kissing his mother on the cheek. He was trying to sound calm and chilled, but inside he was analyzing every word before they eve had a chance to leave his mouth. Mrs. Turner couldn't hold in her smile. She felt like it had been a lift time since Tim had said hey when entering the flat, normally he just went into his room.  
"Good day my dear?" She asked, trying to pretend she was completely used to the situation that was taking place.

Timothy could feel his heart racing at such a normal questions, she wasn't asking to catch him out, she was just asking to be nice. She would ask the same question to his father when he walked through the doors in an hours time. The boy took a breath in to calm himself.  
"Yes, just preparing for my exams." Timothy said, his answer was simple enough but every word had been carefully thought out.  
"Sounds all very stressful" Sheleigh replied. Timothy wanted to keep the conversation going but he just didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what had change between him and his family but at that moment he was using all his will power not to just walk away.  
"Well, I am doing all I can" He responds, trying not to shrug his shoulder. Trying to speak with confidence and respect like his Dad taught him too all those year ago… before everything seemed to get so complicated in his head.  
"I'm sure you will do just great" The women replied as Timothy eyes the biscuits on the side.  
"You read enough of your father medical journals," She continued not wanting the silence to end.  
"Medical journals make so much sense, Romeo and Juliet or hamlet on the other hand" He smiled before sneakily taking a biscuit off the side.

"Timothy Turner those are for pudding" She smiled and playfully smacked his hand away from the plate, letting him grab one as she did so. Timothy took a bit of the biscuit and smiled.  
"They are good Mum" He said. That sentence, those 4 words just came out so easy. Without thinking, it felt good. Slowly he began to calm.  
"I always liked Shakespeare," She said moving the biscuits out of reach from his son.  
"So does Jack, he's going through them with me in 'Simple terms'." Timothy said. Using bunny ears around simple terms. His heart skipped a beat as he mentioned the boys name; it had been weeks since he had mentioned Jack. His parents knew that they still met each other and that they were basically inseparable 'friends' but Timothy had grown scared that he would say too much, so he began not saying anything at all.  
"He hasn't been around in a while, I didn't realize you were still close" Her words were innocent and she didn't mean anything by it but it made Timothy's heart pound in both fear and guilt. He felt guilty to jack for not mentioned him to his parents and too his parents for keeping such a huge part of his life away from them.  
"Yeah… I don't know" The poor lad was trying his best not to stutter and keep calm, trying not to panic. There was nothing to panic about after all. 'Just friends'.  
"You know, he is welcome anytime" His mother had gone back to what she was doing so it gave Timothy a chance to let out a sigh of relief. And to try and hide his fears, he sometimes forget that this whole life was basically a huge lie, well a massive bend of the truth. The thing that kept him through the day was hidden looks and the secret touching of hands with the person he cared about. He wasn't sure it was the life he wanted but that was the trouble with Jack, he made everything so much easier yet so much worse all at once.


End file.
